Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Why?

Why is it that people feel the freedom to say WHATEVER THEY WANT when you're pregnant??? I mean, seriously. Here are a couple of recent conversations that I've had. Hope you enjoy.

Last night...AT Walmart:
Random man in motorized wheelchair blocks me in...
Man: "Young lady! How much longer do you have??"
Me: "Umm...I don't know. Maybe 2 weeks?"
Man: Shaking his head adamantly while staring at my belly, "No. No. You won't make it two weeks."
Me: Smiling the fake smile. Surely he knows he should move out of my way at this point. "Ok. I hope you're right. I'm ready."
Man: "If I was gettin' in an elevator with you right now, I'd be nervous."
Me: Speechless.
Man: "Is this your first?"
Me: "No. Third."
Man: "Know what you're having?"
Me: "A girl."
Man: "What are the others?"
Me: "Two boys." Wondering, 'How in the world is this conversation continuing??'
Man: "Well, I delivered several babies when I was in the military. And you're not gonna make it no two weeks. Me and my ex wife...we had 3 boys. Told us that third one was gonna be a girl and when my wife was delivering, the doc said 'uh-oh'. It was a boy. They went ahead and changed her status to surgical & got her tubes tied right then an there. Yep. Shore did. Insurance paid for it all."
Me: "Wow. Well, we'll see."
WHAT THE??? I mean, am I that enormous??? I can't handle the stares that come lat the end of pregnancy. Seriously. I think I'm gonna let the tears flow for the next person that says something...and maybe tell them I'm terrified to give birth. I don't know. I've gotta get back to the winning side of this game. The next two are out of the mouth of Hudson Spivey. Love him. He. Is. Hilarious.

On the way inside our house:
Hudson: "Mommy! Baby Lily's gettin' big!!"
Me: "Yep. She sure is." Under my breath, "I'm enormous.".
Hudson: "Mommy...you're not enormous. You're not. You're really not. Baby Lily's just gettin' big."

In the van about a week ago:
Hudson: "Hey, mommy."
Me: "Yeah?"
Hudson: "How is baby Lily gonna get out of your tummy??" "Is she gonna come out your MOUTH???"
Me: "Um, no buddy, she's not gonna come out of my mouth." Matt is losing it at this point- glad he thinks this is so hilarious... "When it's time for Lily to be born, God will get her out."
Hudson: "Yeah. But HOW?"
Me: "It's a miracle, buddy. A miracle." Ummm....how in the world do I answer that? I considered telling the truth. Seriously. That's where I'm at.
Hudson: "Mommy, Lily's gettin' big...and I think when she comes out your tummy, your tummy's gonna just be all big and floppy."
Me: Dumbfounded. "You are a smart boy, Hudson. You're absolutely right. My tummy is gonna be all big and floppy." "But, hey. When baby Lily comes out, could you not tell me that then, because it'll probably hurt mommy's feelings."
W.O.W. This conversation really happened. Seriously.

Ok, last one. This one happened at the boys' school last week.
Random mom: "Oh, wow. I thought it was time for you to have the baby already."
Me: "Nope. Haven't had her yet." Land of the OBVIOUS. Clearly, not yet.
What in the heck am I supposed to say to that??????? I mean, a) If I'm past my due date, then I don't want to hear that YOU, random lady, thought I would've had her by now. Clearly, I have not. and b) if I'm not past due, then that was a jerk-face thing to say. So, don't say it. Can you sense my frustration? Maybe I should just hibernate til baby girl makes her arrival. Maybe???

On a happy note, we are WAY excited to meet her. I can't believe all this pink in my house. I still don't know what I'm gonna do with a baby girl, but I'm very excited. I do plan to catch up a bit on how I'm feeling about a sweet girl, and a couple of birthdays that have happened in our house. Soon!