Wednesday, May 15, 2013

9 Years and Counting: Happy Anniversary!!

Happy 9th Anniversary!!!  I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane today.  It has been fun looking at all our old pictures!  Man, has a lot happened in 9 years!! As we take this trip, I want to list a few things that I love about this man.

He is kind- and the measure of his kindness does not depend on who you are or what status you obtain.  I.Love.That. 

He is stable.  Can I get an AMEN?  Many times I want him to get super emotional, but at the end of the day I SO appreciate his stability.
 He is funny.  "Yo Momma" jokes never get old.  Okay, they do, but he's still funny.
 He is faithful.  To me, to his job, the list goes on and on.
 He is a tremendous dad.  One of his best qualities...
 He is genuine.
 He loves Jesus.  Makes me breathe a sigh of relief.
 He gets on my nerves : )  Wait, that's not what I love about him???  Well, you know...I love this man. And if he weren't here, I would miss the little things that get on my nerves. 
He gives grace often and well. 
He serves faithfully with a kind heart and selfless attitude. 

He is unselfish.  Man, I could learn a thing or two.
Matt Spivey, you are a wonderful man.  I am lucky to have someone as kind and as stable as you to level me out.  I cannot wait to see what the next 9+ years have in store!!  A move??  More babies?? Ha!!  Happy Anniversary!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

My heart is very full today.  It's been a great day- the kids brought me coffee and my Bible in bed this awesome way to start : )  They picked out very sweet gifts for me:  a notebook (because I like to write!), a water bottle for the stroller, hand decorated picture frames, scented wax, and an amazon gift card for books from the daddy.  Thank you!  I got to go on a date with these two sweet little boys this afternoon. It was priceless and I'll never forget it.  I decided to make a new tradition and to give them verses on Mother's Day that I picked for them and will pray for them over the next year.  I hope it will grow to be a special time.  

Hudson chose a Sonic milkshake for his date.

This boy is so much like me it hurts sometimes.  Sigh...I hate that he has inherited my greatest weaknesses.  My favorite conversation of the date:  
Me:  "Hey, buddy...can you think of something that maybe mommy could work on this year as a mom?  Maybe something I should work to do better?"
Hudson:  After a long pause, "Well...You shouldn't brag, cause that's not nice."
Me:  "That's true.  When did I brag?"
Hudson: "You remember when I hurt my leg??  And you said you were gentle and daddy wasn't?"
Me: "Oh, yeah...that's right.  That's a good point."
Hudson: "Yeah, maybe you could just let him take care of the boo boo sometimes...even though you're more gentle."
Me:  "That's a good idea.  How about I let you know when you're bragging and you let me know when I'm bragging and we can help each other out? Cause I think that's something you and I maybe struggle with more than others.  What do you think?"
Hudson:  "Yeah, Micah doesn't.  And daddy really doesn't."
Me:  "Yeah, I think you're just like me, buddy."
Hudson: Grinning shyly, "Yeah, you say that."

Priceless.  I love him.  

This little man chose Chill yogurt for his date.

Man, I love this little boy.  He was in a funk today and wouldn't take a picture...well, he did take one but he was crying, so we won't count that.  

I also am feeling so blessed on this Mother's Day as I reflect on what a great mother I have.  She has taught me more than I could put into words.  She is kind, gracious, generous, faithful, loving, one of my closest friends, and my greatest cheerleader.  She has stood by me through the great and the bad, and just her presence has a calming effect on my family.  She has seen me through the birth of three children, and that means three doses of hormones : )  She walked with me up and down the Sears escalator when I was pregnant with Micah and never once told me I was crazy...even when it didn't work and I was left still pregnant... She is wonderful.  Everyone around knows how wonderful she is.  I am thankful.  You, mom are worthy of being praised for all that you have done and continue to do.  I love you so much and am the mother I am today because of you.  

I also want to wish a happy Mother's Day to my mother-in-law, Donna!  The testament to your motherhood is the wonderful man to whom I am married... you raised a wonderful, wonderful man and I am so thankful for the job that you have done.  He would not be the person that he is today without you.  I am oh so thankful...the legacy of your motherhood continues on to another generation in my children.  I cannot thank you enough.  You have treated me like your own daughter from the very beginning and that is a tremendous blessing.  I love you.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Grief Redeemed

I have a confession.  I wrote this post two years ago.  I have felt the Lord's strong and persistent leading to share the story of the grief that I have experienced and the redeeming work that He has done in my heart literally for years.  I am ashamed that I have cared too much about my own preservation to open up my heart for you to see.  Today, the Lord said DO IT. I have seen so many of you grieving and I have hurt for you, cried for you, prayed for you.  I pray that there is some benefit to me sharing my story and that God would be glorified in it. 

Lord, use it.  Use what you have done in my life to encourage and strengthen those who are grieving.  Use it to teach me and change me...I want to be a vessel that is open to your plan even when it exposes the depths of me.

"And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men.  And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.  And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, 'My son, your sins are forgiven.'"
Mark 2:3-5
I pray that the sharing of my story would literally bring those paralyzed by their grief to Jesus...the only One who heals. 

Here is where my own personal grief began.

It was a hot, muggy night in May. The whole family had been to my cousin Wesley's high school graduation and I asked to ride home with a friend. My dad didn't seem happy about that but said I could go. Sometimes he would agree for me to do things that he didn't necessarily want me to do. I don't know why he did that. Maybe he was upset that I didn't want to spend time with the family that night. Maybe he was upset that the friend I wanted to ride home with happened to be a boy that I had no business being around. Maybe him being upset had nothing to do with me at all. I'm not sure because that night I did not pursue reconciliation with him. The fact that he was angry made me bitter. I remember getting home and seeing him sitting on the couch, obviously upset. It figured. At least that's what I told myself before I went to bed that night. The normal routine would've included a good night kiss for my daddy. Not that night, and it just happened to be the night that changed my life.

I'll never forget that sound. The door to my bedroom slammed open and I awoke to my mother frantically telling me that something was wrong with my daddy. I was confused...a car accident? I don't think I can go! No, Morgan, he's in the living room. I need your help. Everything in me jumped to action. All emotion was poured into trying to save my dad's life. I was fifteen.

I see the couch that my dad was laying across. I see my mom dragging him to the floor after I told her I needed him there to do CPR. I feel a rib break underneath my hands as I did CPR for the first time on a real person. I can smell the cigarette breath as I attempt to give him life. I hear my mom calling my uncle...she had already called the paramedics. It's painfully dark outside. I'm scared of that darkness. I work for what seems like an eternity, but everything's ok, I thought. I know CPR and I can keep him alive until the paramedics get here. Everything's going to be ok. We're doing everything right. The paramedics ask me to continue my chest compressions. Do they think I'm doing it wrong? Is it a test? I feel relief as they finally take over and get the defribulator to shock his heart. There is still no heartbeat. Everything is definitely going to be ok, though. This is their job, and we did everything right. I go to my room to get dressed and drop to my knees to pray to my heavenly Father. It is the first time the tears have come, but I feel great comfort. God would not take away my daddy. I can see the ambulance in front of us. It's so dark outside. The lights are on in the back, but why are we going so slow? Why aren't they in a hurry? By the time we made it to the hospital tons of our family had already met us there. The painful wait began. The hypersensitivity to the surroundings was still present and I can see everything. My uncle walked away and I see him coming back. Something makes me watch him intently. Someone asked him "Does he have a life?" The answer was no. I felt my own chest tighten and the sobs could not be controlled. No one knew why. It wasn't until the coroner walked in that my mom knew it was over. What a terrible way for her to find out.

Four years later.

It's Labor Day weekend and I am home from college visiting my mom and brother. Clint, my love, came with me but he is leaving on Saturday morning to go on a hiking trip with some friends. I'm a little bitter about that, but it's a conversation we already had and he really wants to go. I am happy that he atleast gets to spend one night with me and my family. He'll be back Monday to pick me up to go back to school anyway. Saturday morning my mom wakes me up super early to wake Clint off the couch. He is notorious for being late and Mark has made it very clear that he needs to pick him up on time. We make coffee- Clint loves coffee- and send him on his way. Mark calls as he's walking out the door "just to make sure". He knows us all so well. I spend the night with friends in Troy and then my mom and I go to Granny Walden's house. Granny has been dying of cancer for some time now. I had already been home once that summer for what we thought was the "end". It was not. The family is now taking turns spending the night with her and it is our turn. Granny Walden's house is old. Simple. Homey. She is the matriarch of our family. Everyone listens to her...even when she refused to get treatment for a cancer that she swore she didn't have- a cancer that would eventually take her life. I sat at her big, wooden table that I think Pa made himself. It has so much character. The house is quiet and granny is in the back bedroom. I pass the time by doing my Pre-cal homework for school. I hadn't heard from Clint. I didn't expect to.

The phone rang. Mom answered. Morgan, do you know a Carolyn White? She left a message on the home answering machine...said that she assumed you'd heard our bad news by now? Yeah, ofcourse. That's Clint's mom, he must have wrecked my car, I thought. I go to look for my cell phone to see if anyone has called. I'm sure Clint just wrecked my car. No big deal. I listen to my voicemails. It's Kim Griffin telling me to give her a call. I feel a grip in my heart. That same grip. Clint would never let someone else call me. He would know. Silence. He would know what I would think. Silence. My heart begins to race. I can feel it pounding outside my chest. He would never let someone call if he could call himself. My hand is shaking as I tell my mom and pick up the phone to call. My mom tries to reassure me that everything is probably fine.

Kim answers. "Hey, Morgan. Are you sitting down?" Silence.

"No, I'm not sitting down!!! Is everything ok?" I feel the panick rise up within me.

"No. Clint had a hiking accident." Those same accident. He's always so wreckless.

Frantic to make it ok, "Is he ok?"

"No, Morgan."

Grasping for anything, "Is he alive?" I would take anything.

" No."

I couldn't hear another word. Almost instinctively I've dropped the phone and I'm prostrate on the grass outside.

"No!" I grip my chest...everything within me hurts. "Not my Clint!"

At that moment, grief swallowed me. The pain was so fierce and so deep that it took over my life. I decided in my heart that God could not be who I thought He was, but that same God, maker of Heaven and earth, pursued me. And this is my story.

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has annointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
Isaiah 61:1-3

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A Change Is Coming...

10 things:

1)  Our house is on the market.
2) I have three messy wonderful children that make this a difficult thing.
3) Life is crazy, nutso, fantastic, overwhelming, fun.
4) We are moving to Trinity Gardens... holllaaa.
5) I hate am getting better at change : ).
6) My husband told me God was saying to move to Trinity Gardens nearly 8 years ago.  
7) I didn't listen prayed and said I'd move to Cottage Hill Road... : )
8) He is a patient, patient man.  
9) God's timing is perfect, and I am excited.
10) Life is so absolutely crazy and I have so so so many more words to tell you about this story and I just can't package them all right now.  But I did want to ask for your prayers....would you join with us in praying for God to be glorified in the sale of our home?  And that we would be willing, eager, excited, and joyful about moving to the neighborhood He has for us to grow, learn and give our lives away for Him. 

Monday, December 17, 2012

Sweet Pea is 9 Months

What a joy.  I don't know a better way to describe her than just that:  a joy.  Our whole little clan is totally in love with this girl.  She is met with smiles and hugs and kisses every day from two little boys that absolutely adore her.  She knocks down their toys and gets all in their business and they love love love her. 
I cannot believe it's been 9 months...will I always feel this way???  She started crawling at 8 1/2 months and immediately started pulling up : (  I'm afraid she'll be an early walker like Hudson and I will be forced to boo hoo it out for a few days!
At 9 months Lily is crawling, pulling up, babbling away for anyone that will listen.  She is mostly a quiet and observant child.  She looks very serious most of the time.  She has a sweet temperament and will let just about anyone hold her- and would be totally content if I wasn't around : )  She loves her blankie and nustles it up by her mouth to go to sleep.  She won't take a bottle or a paci still, so we have given up!  She has NO teeth...none.  I was a little bit worried about this until someone told me that getting teeth late is a sign that they'll go through puberty late.  Whaattt???!!!  I am A-Ok with that! (I totally know it's probably not true, but what the hey). 
Here are a few pics of this sweet, sweet blessing.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Hudson Is 6!!!

How did this happen???  How did I wake up and have a SIX year old?  I just can't wrap my brain around how fast time is going.  The saying really is true that the days are long but the years are short.  Lord knows my days are long!!  But time is going so fast right before my eyes.
Hudson is such a gift.  I cannot remember what my life was like without him.
I want to remember that at six he is loving Kindergarden, exceling in most everything he does.  He loves superheroes and fighting and the ipad and drawing.  He enjoys drawing and coloring and playing dress up in costumes.  His favorite toy is probably his daddy's old GI Joe men.  He could play with them for hours.  He has a thousand questions  He desperately wants to understand everything and loves watching "How It's Made" on netflix.  We think he'll probably be an engineer when he grows up.  He loves all things academic and can't get enough of school and learning, and yet he is an excellent baseball player.  He is devastated on nights that we are running late and don't make time to read the Bible before bedtime.  He just recently told me of a new verse that God had "written on his heart".  He is a gift.  He drives me insane and makes me want to scream on a lot of days...but I am so in love with him.  I cannot wait to see how the Lord uses his life. 
Hudson, we love you.  We pray pray pray that God would capture your heart...we pray that you would use the ways that He has gifted you for His glory and not your own.  We can't wait to see how you grow up and are so thankful for the gift of your changed us for the better. 

 Oh my soul.
 Micah is so gonna be the class clown!
 Hudson loves his brother and sister!!!  This is priceless to me. 
 Just priceless!
 Pretty sure this hilariousness was the result of a potty word : )
 Sweet sweet boy.
 She has THE BEST big brothers.
 Loving on Sydney...

Monday, November 5, 2012

Fall, How I Love Thee

I do love fall.   I love all things, coffee creamer, muffins, bread, soup, etc.  The boys carved a pumpkin and I plan to enjoy all the pumkin goodness that it supplied : )
The boys had a blast carving with daddy.  Hudson was all about removing the "goop". Micah, not-so-much.  It was pretty shocking!
 Here's Micah agreeing to touch the yucky. That's about all he did!
 Hudson, on the other hand, was all in!
 Lily needed to participate : )  She REALLY wanted to get a cute little baby picture in the pumkin, but her thighs would not allow it!
 "What, daddy?  Is this what I'm supposed to do??"  Wow, I could eat.her.up. 
 Micah had a halloween/fall party.  Lovin' the spider hat!  And take a peek at the totally awesome place holders. Wow.  The decor definitely wasn't shabby for a 3 year old party!
 Eating was ofcourse his favorite!
 I love this face.  He is rather intense these days!!
After eating together they went outside and listened to a scarecrow story and then participated in making their own "Class Scarecrow". 
 Here they are with the finished product!
 Micah was taking his newspaper to stuff the scarecrow!
And sweet little Hudson-man.  He is a joy...and this post is low on pictures of him.  The next halloween post will have more!  Sorry, bud!