The Need for Change: My Mommy Vow

Over the past few weeks I have been keenly aware of the need for change.  Change from within myself and change in our culture.

Last week, my pastor's sermon was on the Grace of God.  It was so timely and perfect for my life...just as always.  During that sermon he asked a question:  What numbs your heart to the wonder of the Grace of God?  I have pondered that question all week, and I have come up with one very specific area that I feel like the Lord is pressing His finger on:  my scale. 

 

The endless new exercise regimens, latest and greatest diet programs, and my scale have been continuously choking out the wonder of the Grace of God in my life.  You see, I'm not very easy on myself.  I'm not kind towards myself in my thoughts many times.  I can give ample grace to others, but when it comes to giving grace to myself, I usually fail.  (There you go, fail...no grace for myself even in that!).  But what I am realizing, is that it is the very Grace of God that has enlightened me to my need for change.  I need it deep down in my bones.  My pastor reminded us that as we see what things are numbing our mind and heart, we can eliminate or manage them because ultimately God Himself is after our freedom and joy.  I love that.  I want that.  I haven't felt very free or joyous these past few months.  I have kept myself in bondage to the idea that I should be the same size I was in college even though I am now 30 with 3 beautiful oh-so-worth-it children.  It's ugly.  It's living like our culture and contrary to the Word of God.

 

So, today I am making a vow.  I am throwing out that scale.  I am vowing to model for my daughter healthy living.  I am vowing to stop the negative words about myself that flow freely out of my mouth.  I am vowing to focus on God's Word and His Grace and not the latest thing that can make me drop a few pounds.  I am vowing to pray wholeheartedly that there is a shift in our culture, to pray that my daughter Lily grows up knowing and believing that her true value is in the eyes of her Heavenly Father, and that this value comes from who He is and not a number on a scale. 

 

Are you with me??  Change in our culture- the culture that tells us to focus only on our outward appearance-  starts with us... it starts with me! Oh, I pray that it will.  I pray that this change will start within my own heart, within my own home.  I pray that Lily will grow up with a mother that focuses on Her Lord more than her appearance.  I pray that our home will be one that is full of the Grace of God...for ourselves and toward each other.  We are far from it...change us oh, God. 

Lord, help me to focus on my body as Your temple, not as the idol that I so often worship.  And thank you for your Grace that surpasses anything I could ever hope for our imagine. 

 

As I bleed my heart right out on the page that will be posted for all to see, I feel jittery and nervous.  Being open and honest about my struggles isn't something that I typically do for just anyone to read...but I feel the Lord pressing me to say it.  So, be kind in your response, please : )